Learning to Walk

I think of alcohol recovery kind of like…being born, and overeating recovery like learning how to walk.

When I first started planning my food and trying to follow through on my plan, I could hardly do it at all. I fell flat on my face over and over again. I couldn’t string together a whole day. I fell and fell and fell.

Children get strong enough to walk by pushing themselves up because of their falls. Through the act of observing where my “muscles” still needed strength, what was tripping me up, where I faltered - I got stronger. I got a day. And then I fell. Then I got 2 days.

Children don’t question whether they will get there. Parents don’t think “this kids’ never gonna make it!”. They encourage and assist and help and let their child figure it out.

I became determined to recover. I started to have an unquestioning belief that I would someday, be a walker. I strung together more steps. Pretty soon I could walk. And then I started running. ⁣
⁣

Even though i’m a runner now, sometimes I trip and fall.it hurts like hell. I’m surprised and embarrassed. But it never makes me think “guess I can’t walk after all”. Ever.

This is my overeating recovery. It’s the one that makes sense to me. It’s the one that got me well, that got the 60 pounds off, that felt kind and flexible. It also require(s) much of me - so much aware2ness, forgiveness, and literally changing my relationship with myself. Thank god!