Our feelings make suggestions, not demands
As a recovering alcoholic, I’m especially sensitive to my feelings. This used to make me incredibly uncomfortable - like my skin didn’t fit right.
Do you relate?
Why? We’re afraid of what our feeling might tell us so we’re in a constant stare of resistance.
We think they bring some truth to us that we don’t want to se (a “sense of impending doom” if you will). Even the good ones feel scary - what if they don’t last? What if they’re a distraction from the negative emotions that somehow seem more real?
But feelings don’t do that. They are much more benign. Their only job is to make suggestions. They can never demand that we do or don’t do something. They are not facts. Our feelings aren’t more knowledgable about the world than we are.
Our job is to stay rooted in emotional sobriety / serenity while our feelings ebb and flow.
𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 - 𝘪𝘧 𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘭, 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 - 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘶𝘴.
This is truly 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨. Having emotional sobriety allows us the vulnerability to be open to any and all emotion we are experiencing and have a great outcome. We know that we’ll be OK.
When Emotional sensitivity becomes our superpower, the escape button of food becomes obsolete.
Are you interested in learning more?